She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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