Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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