There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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