the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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