You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think your dad took our porno
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
