3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
