grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
