he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize