So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
