you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
