Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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