Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
