Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
zippers are such a cool invention
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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