You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
