I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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