Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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