Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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