When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
As shirtless as possible
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
