I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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