Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
