My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
