I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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