are you still at the devil's house?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
All I want is dick and wine.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
