I wanna bring you to show and tell
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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