found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
