i need an iv and a liver transplant
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
