I love black thongs
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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