Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
