Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Can I color on your dick again?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
