it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
