Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
