You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
and she was petting her beer can
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
