the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
