And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
