i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
