Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I believe in your delicious
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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