My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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