why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
