He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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