so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
