Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
