My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
