Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
