I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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