ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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