dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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