There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Randomize
