someone threw a dead crab at me
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
no you cant smoke seaweed
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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