I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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