There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
