Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
