Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
