Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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