Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
