I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
