She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
