The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
