true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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