Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize