I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
