I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
