He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Randomize
