Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
