My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
