So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
