Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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