Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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