God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
