something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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