Do you still have your period?
I think my vagina is haunted
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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