she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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