he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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