You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize