hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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