Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize