Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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