Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We left the knife in your bed.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize