My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
